you come and go
like the freezing wind in the heated summer
it's cool
but somehow
sometimes it cuts deep in the flesh

*i love you because i know no other way (quoted from Pablo Neruda)*

A walk to remember

a walk to remember
where my heart melts
in the coldest snow

though i refuse to rejoice at its warmth

*the path may have been forsaken long before i know it*

The Living of the Dead

i found you forsaken
by the mere chance of life
where all that sparks around you
may seem to stop beating

my soul came searching,
for you that i bound not to be
but as mere chance of life
i stopped dead
to find you along the living soul

for i thought that your eternal flame
has gone by the morning

*24 April 2007, through a lucid dream vividly colouring my night*

*the same dream, the same fear, the same joy*

Waiting for the night

here i am with the darkest night
still glowing from the amber of the day
i ask not if you will come
and paint my night with pure solitude

but alas the night ends too soon
for you to brush the glow
i ask you not if you will regret
that i care not of yet another brisk morning

*for i only wait for the night*

William Penn on Death

Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas;
they live in one another still. For the must need be present,
the love and live in that which is omnipresent.
In this divine glass they see face to face;
and their converse is free, as well as pure.
This is the comfort of friends, that though they may be said to die,
yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense,
ever present,
because immortal

from More Fruits of Solitude - Quoted in J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

*i miss your touch, to think that you used to be my only friend. an encounter with you is but a feast with a lover*

Cinta apa adanya

kuberikan hatiku,
berikat pita harapan tujuh warna

kuhantarkan jiwaku,
berbungkus kotak masa depan bergelimang cahaya

sayang kau tak bisa terima,
terlalu indah pita dan kotaknya

kau tak sampai hati merusaknya,
ingin kau resapi apa yang kauingat seadanya

*love me for the feeling of my heart, not for my fears*

Cinta organik

Kau bilang:

...biarkan lah rasa itu tumbuh secara alami, jangan di pupuk dg instant hormon and chemical materials. Dan rasakan nikmatnya cinta organik...

*what about market access for organic love? in this globalisation era?*

Love me

by Walter Rinder (1933 - )

love me
because I try to touch life
within the framework of
uncertainty

...

love me
in the silence of my hurts
and the noise of
my confusions

...

love me
as I pursue my dreams
sometimes retarded by illusions

love me
as I grow to know myself
even during the times of
stagnation

love me
because I seek harmony
not man's discord

...

love me
because we are different
because we are the same

...

I will love you the same.


*sometimes i want you to love me just for me to be able to love myself*
**thanks to HP, to remind me of this**

I m still searching for you

a little journey back
i saw you there
now that i am with you
i feel i m still searching for you

or am i searching for
my other half really

*the lone journey to insanity. i feel i am back*

Kabar cinta sore itu

Aku duduk termangu sore itu
entah mengapa ketika kabar cinta kuterima
hatiku gundah gulana

Kadang kuingin sekedar gerhana
gelap menutup bulat hati yang meronta
seolah ingin keluar dari cahaya

Kadang kuingin sepotong kata
keluar dari mulutmu yang durjana
bahwa hatimu tak seindah yang kuduga

Ku sekedar ingin adrenalinku bekerja

*A misty Jogja one evening; it's not that i m in mourning, the joy is such that sometimes it feels like misery*

I feel like i have known you from my sweet past - is it?

i feel like i have known you from my sweet past
and that the world just befalls like another migreh

*would i confuse you with my bleak memory, as the cocoon has yet to break out of the pandora box?*